Looking at myself in the mirror
I thought,
Who are you and where have you been?
The memories came rushing in -
first the bad, the painful, shameful,
then, slowly,
the good, the joyous, the beautiful.
As I looked at my reflection,
I also saw the imperfections -
too much fat here, thinning hair there -
and got carried away with plans for
my bodily resurrection.
More workouts, less bread,
fewer thoughts of desserts
filling my head.
When those thoughts passed,
I saw of vision of who I might be -
wiser, powerful, influential -
with soft focus glory shining all around me.
But then, I stopped thinking forward and back.
There was more here
than an animated skinbag of bones
needing physical reform and a larger platform,
there was Spirit and Life,
a person who had turned a house into a home.
I realized I am not who I was
in memories both
painful and dear,
I am not who I will be flights of fantasy,
and whatever, whoever I am,
I need to be
here.