HYPERVIGILANT ANTI-VIRUS

Like an anti-virus program,

our reptilian brains

scan the environment

for danger.

 

Hypervigilant,

if imminent trouble is not found

the search is expanded to

what could

possibly,

maybe,

over time

endanger us.

 

And so we find ourselves

fearful

and

defensive.

 

Then all it takes is

a sideways look,

a Facebook post,

a passing comment

and

sirens begin to sound,

emergency lights begin to flash,

and

shutdown begins.

 

Great for our computers,

not for our lives.

YOU DON'T SAY

“You don’t say.”

 

You’re right, I don’t

 

I don’t say

how badly I’m hurting.

 

I don’t say

how much I care.

 

I don’t say

what I need from you.

 

I don’t say,

“How can I help?”

 

I don’t say,

“No”.  

 

I don’t say

because it feels like weakness,

because it feels like failure,

because it feels like neediness.

 

I don’t say

because I don’t want to be a burden,

because I don’t want to be “that” friend,

because I don’t want to be “fixed”.

 

So if I do say

something, anything

vulnerable,

tender,

raw and true,

know

it’s something

I don’t say

to just anyone,

but I’m saying it to you.  

 

(How do we create relationships

strong and safe enough to welcome

those things we don’t say?)

WHEN THE DAY COMES

“When the day comes,

you’ll know,”

they said.

 


“I’ll know what?”

I asked.


“You’ll know.”  

 

I waited,

but I was never quite sure

if the day had come.

 

Then, one day,

I decided.

 

Today is the day.

 

And once I decided,

I knew.

 

Your day comes,

every time you decide

today is the day.

 

Don’t wait. 

RESERVING JUDGMENT

“I’m reserving judgment.”

 

What you’re really saying is...

I’ve already decided this is a bad idea,

I don’t think it will work,

I don’t want to be associated with this decision,

I’m afraid to say what I really think,

I don’t feel safe.

 

So when you’re thinking of reserving judgment,

you’ve already swung the gavel.