When he saw the other kid getting
more toys,
better stuff,
more attention
the 5 - year old stood,
arms at the side,
fists clenched,
and screamed,
“When is it my turn?!”
Life would be better,
he thought,
if I had what she has.
She’s got it all.
His parents told him it wasn’t polite to yell.
He began to understand politeness,
but still wanted
what he thought others had.
So the voice went inside.
He
longed for,
lusted over,
coveted
what he thought others enjoyed,
but he didn’t.
“When will it be my turn?”
his mind was asking more insistently.
The more the question
came to mind,
the more evidence
he gathered against himself.
“I just haven’t earned it yet.”
he thought and worked longer hours.
“I haven’t found the right formula.”
he said to himself, purchasing one more
online course.
Even as he grew,
accumulated friends and lovers,
jobs and income,
the 5 - year old in his mind kept screaming,
“When is it my turn?!”
And he was always unsettled.
Then,
one day while scrolling through Facebook,
seeing the smiling, successful faces,
he heard his inner 5 - year old scream,
but this time
he realized,
“I’m not 5 anymore.
I don’t have to wait for my ‘turn’
to have fun,
to enjoy who I’m with,
to care,
to know my work is meaningful, valuable,
to work hard and do good work.
My turn is,
and has always been,
now.”
This was the day he began to grow up.