CHANGE THE STATION

Negative,

self-defeating,

unhelpful

thoughts

can act like

an old song on the radio.

 

Without realizing it,

you can find yourself singing along.

 

The difference between

the thoughts and a song:

the song takes you to a

place you once were

(for better or worse)

and you move on;

the thoughts

take you to a place you

don’t want to be

and you stay there.

 

The way they are the same:

you can always change the station.

YOU’RE INADEQUATE

Our biggest fear is that

we are

inadequate,

not adequate,

not enough,

coming up short.

 

We will do anything to

hide

this.

Just look around,

pay attention

and

you will see.

 

Look inside

and ask

“What do I

do,

tell myself,

or ignore,

so my

inadequacy won’t be

revealed?”

 

Now, just about the time,

you’re feeling even more

inadequate

about your

inadequacy,

consider this:

 

What if our feelings of inadequacy

are not meant for us to

doubt ourselves,

hide,

and

fear exposure?

 

What if our feelings of

inadequacy

are designed to remind us that

we need each other?

 

Yes, we need each other.

 

Not in some

sick, co-dependent,

“you complete me,

I can’t live without you”

sort of way.

 

We need each other

in the way trees

need

earth,

rain,

sun,

and

wind.

 

And when we stop

hiding,

covering up,

doubting ourselves,

we begin to find

what we thought were

inadequacies

are actually

opportunities

for

connection,

collaboration,

and

celebration.  

 

And it is then

when we discover

we are

more than

adequate.  

SHOWING UP IS

Showing up is:

being present,

being unafraid to speak up,

holding yourself accountable,

doing the best work you can do today.

 

Showing up is:

helping others be present

allowing others to speak up,

being unafraid of feedback,

focusing on the problem

(not the person),

allowing others to shine.  

 

Showing up may be

the most difficult work

you do

Every. Single. Day.  

NOT ONLY FOR ATHLETES

Serious athletes know

they must

warm up,

do the work,

cool down,

and

rest.

 

Every day, they push

just hard enough

to move toward their goal,

but not so hard

that they cannot show up

tomorrow.

 

Every day, they rest

so the work they’ve done

can settle in.

 

What if this were a model for

our work and life,

not only our exercise routine?

 

What if you woke,

began your warm-up

with

journaling,

meditation,

prayer,

walking,

reading,

anything that put everything

in perspective?

 

Then, when you arrive

for your work,

your mind and body

are

warm,

awake,

ready,

for the workout.

 

In this warmed up state,

you can apply yourself

wholly,

completely,

to what must be done

pushing just hard enough

to move toward the goal,

but not so hard that you

don’t want to come back

tomorrow.

 

At the end of the working day

there is the cooldown,

time to process

what you have done

and let it go.

 

Finally, rest ...

allowing yourself to

rejuvenate,

and

recharge

in order to make the most

of tomorrow.  

 

Preparing your day

to perform at your best

is not only for

athletes.  

FALLING TOGETHER

People say,
“Then it all fell apart”

as if they weren’t a participant.

 

The saying implies

an outside, unknown force

which dismantles

our plans,

our hard work,

our dreams.

 

I’ve never heard anyone say,

“Then, it all fell together”

with wonder at the

unreasonable beauty of it all,

as if they simply stood back

and

watched

when it

all

made

sense.    

 

Most of us are

on guard,

anxious

about the falling apart,

but what if

we began

anticipating,

looking for

the

falling together?

VULNERABILITY IS THE WELL-SPRING

Equating courage with toughness

is wrongheaded.

 

Courage doesn’t come from

“man-ing up”

(why don’t we say woman-ing up?)

“growing a pair”,

“jumping in headfirst”,

“risking it all”,

or any of the usual claptrap.

 

Courage comes from appropriate vulnerability.

 

To say it another way:

Vulnerability is the well-spring,

the source

that gives life

to courage.

 

Are you willing to tap in?

YOUR MOTHER

May I be your mother for a minute?

 

Not the

overly fussy,

passive-aggressive,

“why don't you settle down with a nice girl or boy”

kind of mother.

 

But a  

kind,

caring,

loving,

helping someone to adjust their collar,

fix their hair,

discreetly letting them know their skirt is unzipped (or their fly),

a piece of toilet paper is stuck to their shoe

“You have something in your teeth”

kind of mother.

 

If we’re going to do this for another,

we must,

show up,

pay attention,

care,

and be willing to risk this

for a stranger.

 

(And you don’t have to be a mother to do it,

simply a human.)