WHEN TO USE DON’T

When seeking to change our lives,

we often tell ourselves things like:

“Don’t eat french fries.”

 

Unfortunately, what our brain hears is,

“Eat french fries.”

Not helpful!

 

However,

when you link

“Don’t”

to an identity statement,

you send a powerful message.

 

“I don’t smoke.”

is a statement about who you are,

not just about what you do.

 

So if you want to shift

your habits,

your thoughts,

your emotions,

use “I” statements

in the positive first,

“I exercise every day.”

and when necessary

use “Don’t”,

“I don’t skip workouts.”

 

Not eating french fries

just got a lot easier.

DON’T CLICK HERE

Our brains cannot understand the difference

between

don’t

and

do.

 

If someone says,

“Don’t think of a blue elephant.”

what comes to mind?

 

If the title of an article says,

“Don’t click here.”

what do you want to do?

 

Using “Don’t” to get clicks

may be a great copywriting trick,

but not so great for changing our lives.

 

When seeking to shift

your thoughts,

your habits,

your emotions,

it’s best to frame the change

in a positive fashion.

 

Instead of saying,

“I can’t have french fries,”

tell yourself,

“I always order the steamed vegetables.”

 

When it comes to emotions,

pushing them away by saying,
“Don’t think about that!”

only makes them stronger.

 

When you experience an

unwelcome emotion,

notice it,

welcome it,

and

be curious about

what it is

seeking to teach you,

then let it pass.

 

Don’t try this at home.

:-)

 

(Now, before we throw “Don’t”

out of our vocabulary,

there are some ways for it to be

helpful,

but that’s another article.)

VACATION EXPECTATION

We put heavy expectation

on vacation.

We ask those days for

refreshment,

recharge,

reinvigoration.

 

Upon returning,

we often come with hesitation

because

the work we left behind,

the overcommitted schedules,

the habits of mind

have been waiting

at the station.

 

And 24 hours later,

we are right back to the same frustration.  

 

Wouldn’t it be better,

to not lay such a burden on vacation,

but to order all

our days,

our weeks,

our lives

for times of

engagement,

enjoyment,

and

edification?

LOSING GRATITUDE

When you first begin to practice it,

losing gratitude

can feel like

losing altitude.

 

One moment you’re taking off,

confident

and

sure.

 

In the next moment

you’re falling -

anxious and fearful.

 

But, when gratitude becomes

second nature,

when it is part of you,

happiness and joy

feel less trying to fly

and more like being planted -

grounded,

growing,

and

unshakeable.  

 

Keep practicing.

NOVELTY

The problem with being

the flavor of the month

is that you really only get

one day

of novelty.

 

After that everyone moves on.

 

So if you’re seeking that

one thing

to get noticed --

remember,

getting noticed

is not the same as

being remembered.

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

Try to make others like you.

 

Make how you feel about yourself

dependent

on how you think others feel about you.

 

Turn on all of your notifications

and respond immediately to every one.

 

Say, “Yes” to everything.

 

Stay up late.

Get up early.

 

Tell yourself you’re still not getting enough done.

 

(Remind you of anyone?)

MOST PEOPLE

Most people allow

their attitude,

their emotions,

their state of mind

to become dependent

on how others

respond,

react,

or

reach out.

 

No wonder most people are

(at the very least)

moderately unhappy.

 

When you decide

you are the one who

shapes,

guides,

and

nurtures

your

inner world;

when you decide

situations don’t determine

your reactions;

when you decide

to always seek a new perspective

is when you stop being

most people.